Confidence

writing Oct 28, 2022
Confidence:  Silhouette of a shirtless man flexing his arm muscles.

by Kym Farris


 

If anyone is following my blogs and I hope you are then you’re aware that I started school a little over a year ago and I am 8 months from turning 50. 50 that number alone has been nerve-wracking. And for what? It’s just a number, right?  But the thought of flipping my world upside down so late in life scared me to the core. Who am I and why do I think I can do this?

 

What if…

Let me tell you a little about where I was in life so you can understand how I got here.

I was a manager of a local gas station. I had been there for 2 years. I’ll admit I was comfortable as it was one of the easiest jobs I have ever had. But that position was where I was going to stop. And not because I wanted it to stop there, there was just no place else to go in the company. The money was good but not great. Living paycheck to paycheck is stressful and can be depressing. I always had a few extra dollars in my pocket but when I thought about spending that I got anxious. Can I really afford to go out even for a few hours? And the answer was always no. What if an emergency happened and I needed it?  What if something happened and I lost my job? There was always something. Which led me to be a homebody. No life. 

 

Making changes

In June 2021, I took a leap of faith and signed up for school. At the time I wanted to be an accountant. I love Math and numbers so I settled on what I was comfortable with. When I approached my employer about going to school they were excited for me and were willing to work around my schedule until they weren’t. I was working 60-hour weeks at this point and needed to slow down some. They had no one to help. I did feel bad as I had to start to cut my hours down. But like I said one day ”you are all where you want to be in life I am not”.  I deserve a chance too! 

After 4 months of trying to juggle work and school, it was becoming evident that I wouldn't be able to do both. I went back and forth with my employer. I was willing to take a pay cut, a lower position and still help a new manager. That wasn’t good enough. So yes I quit.  I had only ever quit one job before this and just like then I was lost. I grabbed a few waitressing jobs. Quick money but rough on the body. So they didn’t work. I found a job I really liked. It was an accounting assistant job. I was elated. A job in the field I was going to school for. I was going to learn what I loved while making money. This is perfect! Until I walked in one day and was told my position was cut due to not having enough work for me. What? I was crushed. Seriously, I went home and cried. Did I make a huge mistake quitting my manager job? I had 100 questions running through me and no answers. 

 

An opportunity

A few days later a friend of mine hit me up with a job offer. She asked if I wanted to come on board with her. Her business Ghostwriting. I always knew I could write. I never thought of it as a job though. If you’re anything like me you wrote poems as a kid. I had teachers back in the day tell me how good they were. But again they were poems. I thought every poem I read was good. I didn’t know. So I said yes. I guess I said yes because she knew me and she believed in me. I started slowly with a ton of questions. At first, I was petrified to not only fail but to fail her. As I started doing research and understanding what she needed and wanted from me it got easier. I still have a lot to learn but I am building confidence.

 

Having faith

As a result of this, I changed my major from accounting to marketing. Marketing has a lot of different fields. Me, I like affiliate marketing. Affiliate marketing allows me to research a product and then write about it. I have a little bit of freedom as it doesn’t take all my days and nights away. My boss/ friend understands how important school is to me and she wants me to be the best I can be. If I lack confidence she reminds me that she believes in me. And if I have learned anything it’s that I can do what I set my mind to with support and encouragement. But first I have to have confidence in myself. 

I took time to read a few books about confidence. I’d like to share them with you.

 


 

The Power of Discipline: How to Use Self Control and Mental Toughness to Achieve Your Goals 

Attitude Is Your Superpower: How to Create Incredible Life-Changing Success 

Building Confidence: Get Motivated, Overcome Social Fear, Be Assertive, and Empower Your Life For Success

 


 

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